Your journey is just beginning – where will you go from here?

Graduation may feel like an ending but, of course, it actually marks a new beginning. And, as with any new venture, there’s a learning curve. We asked members of the Jewish community in Rhode Island for real-life advice to jump-start your journey.  Here are their thoughts:

Rabbi Marc Mandel, Touro Synagogue, Newport:

During my years as a rabbi, I have often been surprised to find that many young Jewish people stop studying the Torah when they graduate. It is vital for young Jewish people to always increase their Jewish knowledge and to continue to study Torah throughout their adult lives. Too many young people have big gaps in their Jewish learning, and this has to be a priority for every graduate. 

With regard to career advice, it is important for graduates to pursue careers that align with their core interests. People are working longer hours these days, so it is vital for graduates to seek out careers where they will find personal fulfillment. Otherwise, they will be stuck in a career that will not bring them any real satisfaction, and this will likely lead to poor performance on the job.  

Rabbi Jeffrey Goldwasser, Temple Sinai, Cranston: It’s very common for recent graduates to hear this helpful phrase: “Follow your passion!” I think it’s bad advice.

Don’t follow your passion. The phrase itself suggests that you only have one passion and that there is only one ideal career path for you to follow. It also suggests that, at the moment you graduate from high school or college, you have some way of knowing what your ideal passion is. You don’t. Stop looking for it.

People who try to find their passion with relatively little experience often find only disappointment and frustration. They can’t find it, so they end up thinking of themselves as “passionless” and end up doing something they don’t like. That is sad.

Instead of thinking of “your passion” as a seed that is already implanted deep in your soul just waiting to be discovered, think about your life this way: Don’t discover your passion; rather, create it.

Instead of trying to find the one perfect job, try to find 10. Be willing to make a list of all the things you think you might enjoy doing. At this point, don’t cross any of them off the list because you don’t think they are possible or practical. You may not yet know what is possible.

Search for any opportunity to do any of the things on your list. Once you find an opportunity, give it a try. By trying something, you are giving yourself the opportunity to develop a skill, a knowledge base, or an interest that you can then develop into a passion. 

This is an approach that is actually informed by Jewish teaching. Judaism does not require you to feel a passion before you take action. You don’t hold off on lighting Shabbat candles until you feel a need for it. You don’t withhold your money from tzedakah until you are passionate about a cause. First, you do. Doing helps you cultivate feeling. Feeling can transform into passion.

Don’t follow your passion. Take action. Try something. Then grow.

Rabbi Aaron Philmus, Temple Torat Yisrael, East Greenwich:

Rebbe Nachman of Breslov once said, “All of life is like walking on a very narrow bridge, and to keep your balance, you must not give in to fear.”

The view from the bridge can be breathtaking, but it can also make us really anxious, thinking about the future and all of our hopes. But we cannot let our fears control us; we can continue to walk forward. You must always have trust and faith in yourself.

Each of us has something really important and unique to offer, and we can only discover that by trying things out. Don’t just take classes about subjects you’re interested in – also make sure that you spend time with people who work in those fields, so you can both advance yourself and figure out if it’s what you want to do.

Rabbi Michelle Dardashti, Brown RISD Hillel, Providence:

The word “commencement” is quite appropriate. Yes, you have your diplomas now, but your journey has just begun.

Our biblical ancestors, who endured 40 years of wandering in the desert, even after their revelatory experience at Sinai, exemplify the reality that it isn’t a sprint from the moment of wisdom to the Promised Land. While I pray that it is far less than 40 years before you are living out your professional and personal dreams, I think it’s worth considering what the ancient Israelites might have to teach you about making your way through the midbar, the wilderness, of post-graduate existence. The two most essential ingredients for this marathon, it seems, are openness and faith. 

Our tradition teaches that the Torah was given in the wilderness because it was open – so my first piece of advice is that as you emerge into this new, unknown phase, you make yourself open – open to new people, new ways of doing things and new ideas, and that you trust that what you need to learn will be most clearly revealed to you through this stance of openness.

Don’t presume that the interview you “bombed,” the boss who has no time for you, the corporate setting in which you find yourself, or seemingly menial tasks have nothing to teach you. These are each, in their own ways, tremendous opportunities for learning – about what and whom you do and do not enjoy – and growth. Stay open – be willing to be surprised and stretched through every frustration or apparent dead end.

All of this demands trust, which leads me to the second ingredient. From the time the Israelites left Egypt, the thing that plagued them most was a lack of faith. Amalek – the nation that attacked our ancestors during their exodus – has the same numerical value as the Hebrew word for doubt, safek. Self-doubt, we learn, is enemy number one and it is strongest when we are prone to weakness, in our times of transition. Perhaps this is why the first two parshiot in the book of Bamidbar (In the Wilderness) bear the instructions, “seu et rosh” – a turn of phrase for “take a census,” but literally it means, “lift up the heads” of each Israelite.

And so, my final piece of advice to you is to keep your head up. Don’t feel as though you need to land your dream job (arrive in the Promised Land) this month or even this year or next. Trust that if you’re keeping your head/chin up and fixing your gaze upon work that aligns with your values, each step – each interview or job, as good or as bad as it seems – will lead you closer to who and where you want to be.

May you go forth with openness and faith and be blessed with the resilience and grace that they bring – mazal tov!

Rabbi Steven Jablow, Jewish chaplain at Bryant University, Smithfield:

First, consider what makes you happy. Money is not the key to happiness, no matter what our consumerist society preaches. You don’t have to live like a Hollywood celebrity to be happy. By all means, making a living is important, but being happy with what you are doing, or the opportunities your living provides you, is equally crucial to fulfillment.

Second, my advice for you personally and professionally is: put your phone down. Disconnect more and focus on the people, the work and the conversations in front of you. You will accomplish more with far less stress, and you will not judge your success in comparison to someone else’s public profile.

Last, take a breath and relax. Contrary to what you may think at the moment, nothing you do tomorrow is irrevocable. You have time to try things and to discover what works and what doesn’t. Be open-minded and learn from both your successes and failures, and even changes of direction will ultimately help guide you to your goals.

Carol Alfano, retired elementary school teacher from East Greenwich: I would tell the members of the Class of 2017 to be open to new opportunities and to find their passion. I would also tell them not to worry if this takes a while and if they need to reassess their choices, maybe changing initial decisions. 

Don’t worry about what others think – make choices that please you. Try to do something that helps others and that has a positive impact.

Debbie Strauss-Levine, psychotherapist in private practice in North Kingstown:

I would tell graduates to “know thyself.” Identify your strengths and your challenges. Use  your self-knowledge to choose a job or career that suits you. Do you enjoy being part of a team, or are you more suited to going solo? Are you detail-oriented, or do you see the big picture? How do you feel about interacting with people? Extroverts love it, while introverts feel drained by it.

It’s cliché, but I would advise graduates to “follow your heart.” Your job will be much more enjoyable if it interests you. Are you excited by new technology and innovation? Does the idea of helping improve the lives of others appeal to you? Being passionate about something helps motivate you to work hard to achieve success.

Educate yourself. After 16 or more years of schooling, you are probably ready to be done with research. Not just yet. Learning about your field, and where the growth opportunities lie, can lead to a successful job search. Researching the organization, and having prepared questions in advance of an interview, can make the difference between “the position has been filled” and “we’d like to bring you on board.”

Finally, network! Don’t be afraid to reach out to college alumni, family, friends and friends of friends to help build your network.

In a survey by Beyond.com, 71 percent of human resources professionals surveyed named referrals as the best resource for identifying quality candidates. Use your connections to get your résumé noticed. Then, impress them with your knowledge, passion and motivation.

Charlie Zakin, of Providence, vice president of advertising for Cra-Z-Art, a manufacturer of trendy toys and school supplies: My advice to graduating students is to be present and discover. Create a list of things you want to do in a year and do them. Not a bucket list, just a simple list of easy-to-achieve accomplishments that you may otherwise choose to put off. For example, hike the Cliff Walk in Newport or cook a gourmet dinner for friends, volunteer at a homeless shelter, etc. This may also give you the impetus to explore other interests that could even lead to a certain course of study or career.

Also, have a more formidable experience that can set you apart from the crowd when seeking your first job.  You’re competing against many people who are just as smart and qualified as you.  Get the edge and set yourself apart … and good luck!

SAM SERBY is a freelance writer who lives in East Greenwich. He previously worked at the Peres Center for Peace in Tel Aviv.