Sharing memories and connections at a shiva
Arthur Robbins and I became good friends through some historical projects decades ago.
About 25 years ago, he invited me to conduct oral-history interviews with his dear aunt, Eve Medoff Goldberg (1898-2002), which I much enjoyed. In 2012, he commissioned me to record a series of interviews with his close friend, Peter Mezei, and help write an article about Mezei for the Rhode Island Jewish Historical Notes.
About five years ago, Arthur again commissioned me, this time to serve as an interviewer in a video documentary series about his own deeply caring life.
Most of the sessions were recorded in his Providence office, opposite the Marriott hotel on Orms Street, but the culmination was a visit to Woonsocket, Arthur’s hometown.
The video crew and I were introduced to numerous local landmarks – homes, schools, parks and businesses – from his childhood and early married life. The idea was to superimpose some of these images over our conversations.
Ultimately, Arthur was somewhat disappointed with the documentary series – because of its success! He thought that six hours was too long. He was afraid that not even some of his closest relatives, especially his grandchildren, would take the time to view it.
Arthur, who had grown up in Woonsocket’s Congregation B’nai Israel and would become a guardian of its cemetery, was mourned on Feb. 22 at his Providence congregation, Temple Emanu-El. He had reached 91 years of age.
Wanting to pay my respects to Arthur’s family, I attended one of three shivas held at the Marriott, perhaps the best known of his highly successful hotel projects.
Not expecting to see any of my acquaintances, I felt rewarded by several encounters. For example, Richard Applebaum, my fellow Beth-El congregant, was wearing a metal pin on his lapel, which I asked him to identify. A symbol of the Rotary, it demonstrated his decades-long bond with Arthur. Richard is a past president of the Providence chapter, and Arthur attended many of the monthly meetings, which were held at the Marriott.
Inevitably, while waiting in line to pay our respects to Arthur’s family, Richard and I mentioned some mutual Beth-El friends. One had told me about Richard’s kindness when helping an elderly participant on a temple mission to visit Cuban Jews. I know this elderly woman and was also so grateful for his courtesies.
I then recognized another of my contemporaries, whom I had not seen in many years. Alan was seated by himself. I knew him from Shabbat services at Chabad House, where he was a regular participant, but I only attended when requested to help form a minyan. Alan, who has poor eyesight, could not drive, so he always depended on rides from Rabbi Yehoshua Laufer or fellow congregants.
I had occasionally wondered if Alan were still living, and here was proof. So we tried for several minutes to reminisce, but it was extremely difficult. His vision and speech had further deteriorated. Indeed, I was surprised that he recognized me – perhaps it was only from the sound of my voice.
I HAD NEVER met Arthur and Judy’s three children, but I especially wanted to console his two daughters, Carolyn and Alisa. Both are alumnae of Providence’s Lincoln School, where my daughter, Molly, had graduated decades later.
Fortunately, I was able to have more than a brief conservation with Alisa Doctoroff. She is a past president and chair of New York City’s UJA-Federation. Such an amazing accomplishment for a native Rhode Islander!
Of course, I had to boast that Molly has been a staff member of UJA-Federation for eight years. Her responsibilities include allocations to New York City’s Hillel chapters, Jewish community centers and camps.
I did not know if these two Jewish activists have ever met, but Alisa generously assumed that they had. Molly had explained to me on several occasions that UJA-Federation’s volunteers and staff work well together because of their abiding, mutual respect.
On my way out of the Marriott’s lounge, a fellow called out my first name, but I did not immediately recognize Vince Mor, a distinguished professor of health services at Brown. My son, Michael, is a year older than his son, Max, and Vince and I had become friends more than two decades ago, when we served as leaders of Cub Scout Pack 88. Sponsored by the Central Congregational Church, this was the East Side’s only active pack, which welcomed more than a few Jewish dads and lads.
Vince and I had countless fun stories to share. Essentially, I loved serving as a pack leader. Indeed, I stayed a few years longer than Michael, who explained that, rather than “crossing the bridge to [Boy] Scouts,” he had decided to “cross the bridge to air.”
Max Mor followed in Michael’s footsteps, which may have been a relief for his dad. Vince explained that dealing with a band of hyperactive boys had always been the most difficult part of his week.
Fortunately, I later recognized Vince’s wife, Margaret, and we recalled that our four kids had overlapped at the former Alperin Schechter Day School. Discipline may also have been a problem there, but there was a simpler remedy – parents could always be reprimanded!
MY LAST SHIVA visit occurred by telephone, when I was able to speak with Arthur’s eldest cousin, Adele Espo, now 99, who resides in Palm Beach, Florida. The only other surviving cousin, among a group of 10, is Carol Trow, now 81, who also lives in Florida.
I met Adele when I interviewed her mother, Eve Goldberg. In 1948, the year I was born, Adele had become the Moses Brown School’s first Jewish teacher.
Adele and I last saw each other three years ago, on her most recent visit home to Providence. While in town, she hosted a reunion luncheon for three of her student teachers (all men, twice her height), which I was also fortunate to attend. Adele’s mind seems as sharp as ever, and she exercises daily. Her three children took away her car keys, however.
Adele is proud that she will rest in Woonsocket’s Jewish cemetery, between her late husband, Harlan, and Arthur. Meanwhile, she looks forward to September, when she will celebrate her centenary with family and close friends in Florida, including her 10-year-old great-granddaughter!
Thank you, Arthur, for bringing old and good friends together once again.
GEORGE M. GOODWIN, of Providence, is the editor of Rhode Island Jewish Historical Notes.
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