My Fitness Journey: the search for wellness

Eddie Fluery and I begin a Fitness Journey – it’s a chance for me to get fit and overcome some deep-seated “gym-timidation.”

I wish I could tell you I have an aversion to exercise, but I don’t.

I have an aversion to the word exercise. It conjures up unhealthy attempts to control my weight and destructive tendencies toward perfection.

For many years, exercise was a punishment – something I had to do in order to repent for any misgivings I had with food consumption over the weekend. Exercise was the price I had to pay for my ill-fated genetic makeup. I am just over 5-feet tall, shaped like a pear (I hate pears, by the way!) and I am most solid in my hips and thighs. All the exercise in the world will not transform me into Twiggy.

So perhaps you can understand my apprehension when Fran Ostendorf asked me to consider writing a column for the Jewish Voice about an eight-week Fitness Journey, with me as the sojourner!

Let’s face it, who wants to read about my struggles with working out?

Dear readers, there seemed to be no need to subject you to that! That is, until I began speaking to several people – many of you who read this paper – about this very subject. And you assured me that it is an extremely relevant topic. In my anecdotal research, I discovered a few things on which most of us all agree:

                •             We don’t know where to begin when it comes to mapping out a fitness routine.

                •             We feel insecure about some aspect of our bodies. (Thighs, buttocks and hips seem to be the self-loathing targets for most women.)

                •             We think exercise is boring.

                •             We claim we do not have the time.

                •             We simply don’t want to bother.

I work for the Jewish Alliance so I am familiar with the amenities and offerings at the Dwares JCC. In order to be objective about this journey, I thought it best to investigate other popular fitness centers. I first wandered into a local franchise that promised me a “judgment–free zone.” While the membership fee to join was very reasonable and the members looked as “ordinary” as I did, the suggested workout routine seemed rather unstructured. All the staff wore yellow “Trainer” T-shirts, and the perky 20-something who gave me a tour assured me “There are lots of trainers here who can help you get started.”

“But you won’t actually be my trainer?” I asked.

“We believe how you work out is totally up to you; you go at your own pace.” 

Now this may work for some, but I need someone who understands my fitness struggles and would encourage me to keep going when I don’t want to. Left on my own, I know my pace would be infrequent at best.

Next, I made my way to a swanky new fitness center that boasts a pool, sauna, state-of-the-art equipment and expert trainers. The moment I entered, I was overwhelmed. Like a magpie fascinated with shiny objects, I was dazzled with the polished, glossy appearance of the facility. Sure it was beautiful, but as soon as I was ushered to the “sales” team, I was ready to run for the door.

No disrespect to the aforementioned fitness chains, but I cannot see myself in either of these two environments. I simply have to concede that the Fitness Center at the Dwares JCC was the best fit for me. (You may think I am biased, but this is the truth!)

When I was first introduced to Lisa Mongeau, founder of Body Soul Inspired Personal Training, and consultant to J-Fitness at the Dwares JCC, I was taken aback by the energy and enthusiasm bundled in such a pint-sized package. At only 4’11”, she is actually larger than life – powerful, smart, enthusiastic and action-oriented. Her dynamism was contagious, and I actually wanted to swallow whatever Kool-Aid she drank.

At my initial consultation, I met with Lisa and Eddie Fleury, the Body Soul personal trainer who would be my coach for the next eight weeks.

“What are your fitness goals?” Lisa asked.

“Goals?” I echoed, then the silence was deafening. “To overcome my fear of public humiliation, I suppose. My fear of going to a gym stems from my self-esteem issues and inability to accept where I am today physically.”

“No, really, what is your goal?” she repeated.

“Uh, at my age, I can only hope to maintain good bone health,” I manage to say simply because I recall reading that in a magazine while waiting to check out during a recent trip to the grocery store.

She gave me a puzzled look.

“Honestly?” I took a deep breath. “I want to stop comparing my body to someone else’s. I want to exercise because it’s fun, not so I can punish myself or compete in a triathlon. My bikini days are over. I don’t have to look a certain way by the time summer arrives. My only goal is to take care of my body and accept myself along the way.”

Both Lisa and Eddie nodded and smiled.

“Oh, and if I am going to write about this, I hope to inspire someone else to take the same responsible risks I am willing to take in order to get healthy mentally and physically.”

A tall order but they were up for the challenge.

So here I am: vulnerable, flabby and – dare I say? – middle-aged, embarking on a “fitness journey” (whatever that means), and I will share my trek with you over the next several weeks. Come along for the ride!

KARA MARZIALI is the director of communications for the Jewish Alliance of Greater Rhode Island.