Courtship, engagement and marriage: A Three Week Journey

In 1939, my mother, Lulu Abrevaya, a New York City gal, spent the summer in Rhode Island visiting her married cousin Jean Sarenson (nee Benharris) and her husband, John. Within a few days of Lulu’s arrival, John’s younger brother, Nathan, showed up at the apartment with a record under his arm. He looked at Lulu and said, “If you can dance, maybe I will take you out.” I guess she couldn’t dance to his expectations because she didn’t hear from him for the remainder of her stay in Rhode Island. 

My mother often spoke of that summer. She had a wonderful time and met and dated many Rhode Island “boys.” In 1939, my mother was 15 years old and Nathan was 18 years old. Years later when the story was told, my dad said it was not because she couldn’t dance. It was because she was too young for him.

Lulu went home to New York City and eventually she became engaged to Henry Mason. In July of 1942, Lulu’s sister, Hannah, told Lulu that cousin Jean, her husband, John, and John’s brother, Nathan, were coming to the city for the weekend. Lulu and Hannah were expected to spend the weekend taking them around New York City. Lulu told Hannah to have a good time, because Lulu was going to Long Island to spend the weekend with Henry and his family.

On Friday afternoon, Lulu hopped on the elevator with her suitcase ready to head for “the Island.” When the doors of the elevator opened, there were Jean, John and Nathan. For the rest of his life, whenever Nate told this story he would say, “She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.” Following much begging and pleading, Lulu agreed to spend the weekend with the cousins. For two days, they wined and dined and danced. This was wartime… life was precarious.

On Sunday evening, Nathan asked Lulu to marry him. She said, “Are you crazy? We hardly know each other.” His answer was, “In three weeks I will send you a bus ticket to come to Rhode Island, and we will elope.”

Three weeks later, he sent the ticket, she got on the bus and together with my dad’s mother, father, sisters and brothers, the couple “eloped” to Bellingham, Massachusetts, where they were married. I often wondered who they were eloping from. The only person I can think of is my mom’s dad. Three weeks following the elopement, my grandfather Abrevaya came to Rhode Island, and my parents had a Jewish wedding.

I have no idea what makes a marriage work. I only know, in the summer of 1992, my parents, Lulu and Nathan Sarenson, celebrated their 50th anniversary at a party given by their children, Barry and Donna Sarenson and May-Ronny and Rubin Zeidman.

Something interesting to ponder: my mother’s cousin Jean was my mom’s first cousin and sister-in-law. My cousins Ronny and Jerry are my cousins on both sides of my family.

MAY-RONNY ZEIDMAN is executive director of the Sandra Bornstein Holocaust Education Center.