Alice Eichenbaum left a legacy of kindness and caring

This eulogy was given at Alice Eichenbaum’s funeral on Sept. 24. It has been condensed for publication, and is reprinted with permission. For the complete eulogy for Eichenbaum, a Holocaust survivor, go to JewishRhody.org.

Alice loved red – so I am wearing this red scarf in honor of her today.

“Intelligence,” “kindness,” “strength,” “positivity,” “empathetic” and “a very good listener” – these are the words I used to introduce Alice to a group of over 200 Miriam Hospital employees and board members, to tell her story. It happened to be Alice’s 95th birthday.

I asked Alice several times, “Are you sure this is what you want to do on your 95th birthday?” She said, “Of course, what else should I do?”

Alice made it her mission to tell her story and Ray’s story to as many people as she could. She would tell me, “as long as I am feeling good, I want to do it.”

Alice and I formed a fast friendship because I would take her to speaking engagements.

Alice told me it was never her desire to tell her story or that of her husband. That was what Ray did for many years. After Ray passed, Alice was a guest at a survivor speaking engagement at URI. It was clear to Alice that the woman speaking that day did not have the strength any more to do this. It was then that Alice said she felt and knew it was her obligation to do this work.

So, Alice told her story the same way every time – her story, then Ray’s story, reminding people of the parallel time and how different each story was. Alice would say that she was lucky, and as long as she was with her parents, she was a happy child; through everything, no matter how challenging the times were, she was the lucky one.

It was Ray who was not lucky, she would say, and she wanted to make sure that everyone heard his story and what he went through.  Ray, she told me, wanted to make sure that kids – because they are our future, Ray would say – heard these stories so things like this should never happen again.

Then Alice would bring the stories together. She would talk about how Rhode Island became home. How much Ray loved it – how he was able to run free at Camp JORI and how he could eat anything he wanted. And how he loved attending URI.

Teens and adults alike were captivated when Alice spoke, and you really could hear a pin drop.

When Alice spoke at URI in the spring for Yom Ha’Shoah, she was excited to show the audience a paper in Ray’s own handwriting that he wrote in 1957, when he was a student there. With the comment from the teacher: “One of the most touching stories I have ever read …. Fix your spelling.”

And she loved when people asked how they met – she was doing her dissertation at university and they met in the chemistry lab. “It was a chemical reaction,” she would say.

When I would introduce Alice to a group, I would tell them that they were in for a treat; how strange is that to introduce someone who is going to talk about brutality and inhumanity and suffering, that they were in for a treat?

Meeting Alice – that was the treat, I would say.

There was something about being in her presence that made people feel good, feel safe. Her smile and sweet demeanor, her intelligence and humor, made everyone around her feel a level of comfort.

She wanted to tell her story so “nothing like this should happen again.”  Listening to Alice made us feel like her wish would come true – and nothing like that would ever happen again. Because it was easy to cling onto every word Alice said.

Alice touched the lives of thousands during these speaking engagements.

After Alice spoke, often many kids – and adults – would want to take pictures with her. We used to say it was like being with fame. And many would want to hug her. She would smile, make someone laugh .... She would ask people questions about their lives.

She truly cared about everyone.

Before her speaking engagements at schools, she would inquire about what the kids had learned so she knew what gaps to fill in historically, so everyone understood her story best.

One day while driving, Alice said to me, “Why do you bring me so much? You are too busy. Let’s ask volunteers or your colleagues to help bring me.”

I responded easily, without having to think about it: “because I learn something new every time I am with you.” Not only about her story or Ray’s, but about life. About how she lived it. She always had advice to give. Her positivity was contagious. After all she had been through, and knowing what Ray had been through, there was always a smile on her face.

That was remarkable to me. Every time I saw Alice, there would be a smile on her face. And I know it was there all the time. Everyone said she had a smile on her face.

My mom had the pleasure of getting to know Alice at Wingate [Residences, in Providence] while working at the front desk a few times a week, she always had a smile for her. Especially when she would come to schmooze with her after dinner – that was Alice.

Alice loved telling stories about her family, spending time with [son] Cary, visiting [son] Howard and [daughter-in-law] Caryn, and mostly seeing [granddaughter] Raya. Taking her to a show or planning on taking her jewelry shopping…. She lit up when talking about her.

Alice never said she had a favorite group that she spoke to, or a favorite day, but I know what that was without her saying.

Last year, she spoke at her granddaughter Raya’s school. She was nervous. She didn’t want to embarrass Raya.

And after Alice finished telling their family story, she told me that Raya ran up to her, hugged her and said “Grandma, I am so proud of you.” She told that story so many times, to so many people. Raya, that was the most important speaking engagement for her. Knowing she made you proud – the light of her life – was a highlight of her life.

She loved taking pictures that day with you and your friends and was so happy to have that experience with you. She always talked about you. One day when I was visiting her, she took out her iPad and showed me a picture of you and your two best friends. She was so excited to show me.

Alice created a legacy for her granddaughter and for this whole community. The impact she has made will live on.

WENDY JOERING is the executive director of the Sandra Bornstein Holocaust Education Center, in Providence.