100 women attend conference to learn, and to honor Tichyeh Schochet

What does it take to get 100 women out of the house on a cold Sunday morning in November? Tichyeh Schochet might have said something like this: “Some women want to get away from the kids, some come to learn Torah, some don’t want to learn Torah, they just want to relax, talk, visit, discover about themselves or do some exercise and have a good time.” 

The Tichyeh Schochet Memorial Conference for Jewish Women, held on Nov. 22 at the Dwares Jewish Community Center, in Providence, provided all that and more.

The conference began with recognition and remembrances of Schochet, who passed away in March 2015 at age 42. The rebbetzin was remembered for her extraordinary presence, for being down to earth and well-educated, for her humor, deep gratitude and faith: for being “real.”  

Bracha Stuart said the conference was a tribute to Schochet’s life “and the values she shared with us, specifically strength and emuna, faith, in the face of adversity.”

In a note read by Gitty Horowitz, a dear friend from Baltimore, a student praised Schochet’s talent for seeing the individual in a crowd.  Marcia Gibber said Schochet’s openness and curiosity drew “secular” women, women who welcomed friendships that went beyond their obvious circles.

Aliza Bulow, the keynote speaker, met Schochet when both women took a Jewish Women’s Renaissance Project trip to Israel.  The bond between the two Jewish educators brought Bulow from Denver to speak at the conference on the endlessly fascinating ways of Jewish life, and women’s challenges.

The fact that Bulow, the national director of Ner Lelef Women’s Division, wasn’t born Jewish – she converted to Judaism at age 16, after a rigorous adolescent search – gives her the perspective of both outsider and insider.  Her learning and transformation has continued despite the demands of her complex life. 

Humorously and generously, Bulow shared stories about a daughter married to a paraplegic, tragedies in childbirth, and children who rejected her traditional religious life. Her talk culminated in a moving discussion about one of her sons, whose painful struggle with mental illness led him to suicide.

Still, she remains convinced of the need for restraint and compassion in the face of challenges. Even when women brought up their own issues and questioned how it was possible not to want justice when faced, for instance, with the death of Ezra Schwartz, a Sharon, Mass., teenager who was killed by Palestinian terrorists in the West Bank, Bulow kept to a rounded, seasoned sense of calm and faith that aligns with Torah perspective.

She quoted her own rabbi after he heard her speak of her intense desire to make things right: “Mrs. Bulow, a lot of people want to be moshiah [messiah].”

In talking about Jewish women, she got the biggest laugh from an improvised story of how she used the example of Harry Potter’s need for a special school to learn magic to convince one of her sons to return to Jewish day school. 

In smaller seminars, Gibber explored issues of Israel’s unique destiny while Miriam Lipson looked closely at specific prayers, analyzing how certain Hebrew words have special effects. Elianna Bresler gave demonstrations on improving photography and Lisa Mongeau offered inspiration for an active life.

Many of the women who attended the conference came from Providence, but others traveled farther: Meryle Cawley came from Newport, Hilary Dworain from Potomac, Md., Shelley Parness from Narragansett, Rivkah Tyler from Sharon, and Chana Wallach and her mother, Robin Meyerowitz, from Boston.

JILL PEARLMAN, of Providence, writes nonfiction, poetry and fiction. Visit her blog at jillpearlman.com.