10 tips for brides-to-be for a smooth wedding day

Congratulations! You’re engaged! This can be one of the most exciting times in your life – but it can also be one of the most stressful. A bride typically wants the day to go perfectly, and will do anything to make sure her vision comes true. As a new bride myself, I’ve compiled 10 tips to help ensure that your special day is happy and memorable.  

HILLARY GUTTIN is a teacher at the Jewish Community Day School of Rhode Island. She was married on Nov. 13, 2016, in North Miami Beach, Florida.

1. Relax.

You get to spend the rest of your life with the love of your life, and that’s the most important thing.

One of the first things my now-husband said to me during the planning process was, “the wedding is just a day – the marriage is the more important piece.” This was a mantra that I repeated to myself whenever something didn’t go the way I had envisioned it. Even though there were definitely things that went wrong, in the end it didn’t matter.

2. Choose your battles.

This is crucial. When you’re planning a wedding, you’re dealing with a lot of personalities that can be very different from your own. Vendors, relatives and even your future spouse may all have their own visions, and feel strongly about them. 

I knew I really didn’t care what my flowers looked like, so I let my mother and the florist take over that part of the planning. However, I was dead set against wearing heels for any part of the day. My mother felt differently, and this required multiple conversations. Ultimately, I wore the shoes that I wanted to wear – and it was one of the best decisions that I made for the day. 

3. Roll with the punches.

This goes along with tip No. 1, but just know that, ultimately, something will not go according to plan. It’s easier said than done, but give up control. 

This is something I learned the day of my wedding, even though people told me this ahead of time. We had a major issue when the order for the bridesmaids’ dresses got mixed up. I tried really hard to let it go, and that made me happier in the end. (My bridesmaids were easy-going as well, so they made it easier to let it go.)

4. Eat. 

Make sure you get to eat. Everyone is aware of the “hangry” phenomenon, so don’t let that happen to you. I get “hangry” a lot, and I was ravenous by the time the ceremony ended. After the ceremony, my husband and I went to the bridal suite, where some of the appetizers from the cocktail hour were waiting, for which we were grateful. 

People will tell you that the bride and groom do not eat at their own wedding. Aaron and I did – we made sure of it. We tag-teamed schmoozing and dancing, so we were able to get around to everyone and still eat. No regrets at all.

5. Hydrate.

Drinking water is the most important thing you can possibly do during your big day. I know some people warn against hydrating because using the bathroom while in an elaborate wedding dress is incredibly difficult. But believe me when I tell you, if you don’t drink enough water, you will regret it: You are wearing a wedding dress, which is not like any other dress, and you will be hot.

One of my bridesmaids actually bought Aaron and me “Mr. & Mrs.” tumblers for the reception, which came in handy. I’m pretty sure I filled mine at least twice, and I drank at least two bottles of water before the ceremony. Being well-hydrated let me enjoy myself – and it calmed my nerves.

6. Have an open mind – especially when dress shopping.

One of the first things a bride generally does when she gets engaged is peruse magazines and websites for wedding dresses. It’s a great idea to have styles in mind when you actually go shopping, but make sure you have an open mind. The people working in bridal salons know what they’re doing. Most brides actually get a dress that is very different from what they had imagined. 

I remember having my heart set on a trumpet dress that had off-the-shoulder, 3/4-length sleeves, but when I tried it on, I hated it. It looked dumpy on me, and I could not believe that it was so different from what I saw online. If I hadn’t stayed flexible, and listened to the bridal specialists, I would have ended up with a dress I hated.

I ended up falling in love with a dress that was almost the opposite of what I had in my mind – an A-line gown with a long train.

7. Have a budget

If you’re like most brides, you’ll probably have to pay some wedding expenses. It’s important to set a budget. It is very easy to overspend, so it’s incredibly important to set limits for yourself. 

If you do overspend on something, like your dress or catering, then make sure to cut back on the budget for other things, such as the music or flowers. 

Be non-negotiable with yourself: Stick to your budget! After all, overspending on a dress you’re going to wear once is not going to be worth it when you need money to start your lives together. 

My fiancé and I sat down and made a budget so we knew exactly what we could spend on each item. It saved us a headache in the long run and kept us on the same page.

8. Don’t be afraid to ask 

for help.

Many people believe that the bride is the one making all the decisions, as well as doing all the planning. In some cases this may be true, but understand that it does not have to all fall on you. That’s what your family and your bridesmaids are there for. Also allow your future hubby to take a load off your shoulders. 

Ask your bridesmaids to help you reach decisions. Talk to people who have recently married for their input. I relied on my sisters a lot – they truly were my go-to people. They helped alleviate a lot of my stress, helped me make decisions and were really great for brainstorming as they had an idea of what works and what doesn’t. 

9. Make lists.

I’m a forgetful person. Leading up to the wedding, I had massive anxiety over the possibility of forgetting something for the ceremony. I made about 10 lists of the same things and put them in different places so I wouldn’t forget anything. 

As I was packing, I made sure to go through the list and put everything that I needed for the ceremony and reception into my bag, then I checked each item off the list. 

You should also make a list, ordered by importance, for your photographer. This will help the photographer move quickly and help ensure you get the snaps you want.

10. Remember to have fun!

After all, it is your wedding! Relish each step in the planning process as well as the big day. Take mental pictures and allow yourself to enjoy the process because, chances are, it’s your one and only big wedding. Don’t wish time away because it’s hard or stressful in the moment. Smile because you’re in the process of making a decision for your magical day. 

On the day of my wedding, I was such an anxious mess, I forgot to have fun before the ceremony. I was trying so hard to keep everything under control instead of adhering to tip No.1 by relaxing and going with the flow. 

Enjoy your time with your hubby, your family and your friends: It’s likely to be a long time before every single person you love is gathered in the same room as you again.