The Mothers Circle celebrates fifth anniversary

On Sunday, January 5, Alliance JCC held an open house, and the Mothers Circle celebrated its fifth anniversary as an invaluable resource to women of other religious backgrounds raising Jewish children. Past program participants and perspective members gathered to listen to Dr. Kit Haspel, Director of Interfaith Outreach at the Alliance. Haspel explained the reason for the celebration and introduced a young woman named Jen, who spoke about Mothers Circle and its role in her life, saying that the program grounded her after a major life shift by offering a community of other moms and educating her. Haspel kicked off the celebration with a Shecheyanu Blessing, which praises God for sustaining us. After reciting the Hebrew verse, she smiled and said, “OK, now we can have cake.” The enormous cake, adorned with colorful cream balloons, succeeded in uplifting the mood of the little ones at the event.

These children, after all, were the main reason for the Mothers Circle course, which Kit Haspel has been facilitating since 2008. A former clinical psychologist, Haspel received a master’s degree in Jewish studies in 2007 and wanted to incorporate her expertise in a new setting. She approached Minna Ellison, now Senior Vice President for Community Planning and Programming, about focusing on interfaith work and the rest is history. Haspel scored a grant in 2008 from the Helene and Bertram Bernhardt Foundation (now the Jewish Alliance funds the project) to launch the Rhode Island chapter of the national program created by the Jewish Outreach Institute.

For the past five years, the program has proven to be a hit with women in interfaith relationships looking to receive guidance on all things Jewish. Many of them enjoy the non-threatening setting, which provides them with an opportunity to learn and bond with other moms. During the 16 sessions, which take place throughout eight months, they explore Jewish history, culture, holidays, rituals and values. Every two weeks, they engage with the basic principles of the religion, learn how to create a Jewish home and deal with any issues that might arise in an interfaith household. Of course, socializing with women who are grappling with the same struggles, such as celebrating major religious holidays, helps tremendously. Many form lasting friendships and enjoy regular play dates with their kids.

Haspel emphasizes that the program is “absolutely not about conversion. It’s about accepting people for who they are and offering gratitude for what they’re doing.” The mothers present at the event echoed her sentiments. All appreciated the help the course provided in following the Jewish lifestyle, especially getting ready for and celebrating the holidays and Shabbat. Kelly Metzger loved the curriculum of the class, saying that she still returns to it once in a while. Metzger took the course to be prepared for the time when her daughter Zoe starts to ask complicated questions. She now feels ready to answer them.

Cimmi Cumes and her son Isaak, as well as Anya Davis and her sons Ilan and William, are recent transplants to RI. The two women appreciated the sense of community and stability the Alliance JCC and the Mothers Circle offered. Cumes wasn’t raised religious; ever since she converted to her husband’s faith seven years ago, she had been eager to learn more about it. Davis had agreed to raise the children Jewish, so she felt that she should take advantage of the program that resonated with her situation. She said, “So much Judaism is practiced at home that if you don’t know how to do it, you’re in trouble.”

Davis’ husband is baffled at the effort involved, but happy she’s following through with the commitment. Davis keeps recalling Haspel’s advice to encourage herself. During the course, Haspel urged the women to take the process one step at a time and do the best they can. Davis dedicates herself because she has always been drawn to the aspects of Judaism that she is finally engaging in; they include mindfulness, prayers of gratitude, moments of rest and opportunities to do good deeds.

Maria Ross also appreciated the chance to learn more about Judaism. Brought up Catholic, she never related to the faith. When her son Noah was born, she and her husband Jarred wanted to raise him with spirituality. They chose the husband’s faith because “Reform Judaism is more accepting of interfaith marriages.” Ross really benefitted from the course’s guidance, saying, “I loved it. He [Jarred] didn’t know too much about some of the holidays.” Her husband concedes, saying he appreciates the help the Mothers Circle has provided and that he’s proud of Ross’ initiative to learn. He praises his wife’s devotion, “It doesn’t surprise me – she usually jumps in with both feet.”

If any readers would like to jump in too, they can contact Kit Haspel at 401-421-4111, ext. 184 or at khaspel@jewishallianceri.org.