The five W’s of weddings

Weddings are becoming more original, say some longtime area event planners. And, even those that incorporate traditional themes are tailored to the couples’ needs and wants. We spoke with three professionals, who shared how they view the evolution of weddings, and what you should expect when planning or attending one.

WHERE: Think Outside the Box

Bonnie Gold, of Gold Events in Central Falls, has been helping people get married for 30 years. Many of those weddings took place at non-traditional sites. “From what we have seen, people are being more creative with what they want, not always having their weddings at hotels or large function halls,” she notes.

Gold Events has done “tented weddings on farms, or at people’s homes, ceremonies in an antique store and the reception at a night club.” One wedding she organized in an antique store had a personal connection for Gold: It was her daughter Emily’s marriage. She explains that Emily likes antiquing so much that she chose to get married in a Vermont store, with the reception held in a nearby renovated mill.

“Camps are another place that some of our clients have utilized,” she says, describing one wedding that took place at Camp Canonicus in Exeter. The ceremony was held lakeside, and the party continued all weekend with guests staying in log cabins on the property.

Sherri Klein, a Cranston-based wedding and event planner for more than 30 years, agrees that it’s important to cut the cookie cutter. She helps couples across New England organize their big day, working with traditional venues, especially those in Newport. For Klein, taking care of the couples is paramount. Her priority is “what is more important to that bride and groom. Every one of my weddings has been totally individualized,” she says. It helps to have the freedom to listen only to the couple, as Klein believes that “there are no rules anymore.” And when there are no societal restrictions on what’s acceptable and appropriate, anything is possible!

Well, not anything. For instance, unwelcome documentation is often out of the question, no matter what the venue is. Klein has noticed that the age of social media has made people weary of cell phones, and “most weddings are asking to be cell-free.” With many ceremonies lasting only about a half an hour, she says couples would “rather leave it to the professional photographers” and videographers to capture the moment than have everyone snapping out-of-focus pictures and filming grainy videos. Furthermore, Klein says couples want their guests to just “enjoy the moment” without recording it all on social media.

WHO: Be Willing to Collaborate

Ralph Arguin, the owner-manager of Country Gardens Events in Rehoboth since 2001, has planned about 200 weddings over that span. He says they’ve changed significantly, especially with respect to traditions. “The couples today have been getting away from tradition. [With] younger couples, it’s more about the day they want for themselves,” Arguin explains. This creates conflict and “a little bit of a struggle” between the newlyweds’ and their parents’ or grandparents’ wishes. Consequently, he often plays the role of a mediator, telling couples that “this day isn’t just about you” and suggesting that they need to incorporate some of those traditions so that the wedding “becomes a blend of the two” and keeps their parents feeling vested.

WHEN: Take Advantage of Technology

Another area of change, Arguin says, is the role that internet plays, with many couples starting their planning online rather than with parents or friends. “They go out on searches,” looking for everything –flowers, event planners, music and venues.

In addition, the internet can help couples find the best deals. Since the recession of 2008, he’s found that people are more cost-conscious. Children of baby boomers, who may have been hurt by the economic downturn, were indirectly affected. “The burden was thrown on the couple, and it forced everyone to look at weddings in a more frugal way. It’s just starting to change back now,” he thinks.

WHAT: A Thank-You Is Always in Fashion

Gold observes that one thing that doesn’t seem to be going out of style is the custom of the wedding party buying gifts for the bridesmaids and groomsmen. She has seen people spend a low of $60 to as high as $180 for each gift. Some of the popular women’s gifts have included bracelets, necklaces or earrings, while the men have given such items as cuff links, flasks and monogrammed weekend bags.

Other newlyweds approach gift-giving in a more practical way, with tradition taking a back seat. Klein has found that, lately, brides and grooms offer to pay for a part of the wedding party’s attire – the dress, the handbags – rather than give presents.

Similarly, Arguin feels that planning a wedding on a budget has extended to the wedding party’s gifts, with couples turning to simpler presents, such as monogrammed beer glasses for the groomsmen and bracelets for the bridesmaids.

WHY: Because All You Need…

… is Love.

LARRY KESSLER is a freelance writer who can be reached at lkessler1@comcast.net.