In honor of Mother’s Day, I would like to remember my mom, Ada R. Slobin.
My mother is deceased as of 2005. Mother’s Day for the last 13 years has been both a sad day and a spiritual day for me.
I remember my mom as a mentor in my life and a woman of valor. When I was growing up, my dad worked a 16-hour day. My mom would stay up until 1 a.m. waiting for my dad to come home. Then she would get up at 6 a.m. to drive me to high school.
I remember when I was little, my mom cooking dinner for her parents, who came every Sunday from Everett, Massachusetts, to see their three grandchildren.
My mother was very frugal. She never bought anything new for herself. Mom wanted us kids to have everything we possibly could.
Mom was vibrant, outgoing, dedicated, active in our school, and motivated to live life on life’s terms.
My mother never complained. She had health problems and fought them like a trooper. Mom was my rock.
In 1988, Mom was diagnosed with kidney cancer and had her kidney removed. Due to her struggles with multiple sclerosis, her good kidney did not kick in and Mom had to go on kidney dialysis. She went three times a week for approximately three to four hours at a time. Mom fought several infections and several hospitalizations. She went to dialysis for over eight years; Mom wanted to see her grandchildren and children grow up.
Mother’s Day is a day when I like to honor my mother’s memory and all her mitzvot. Since her passing, I try to help other women in my life. For example, I visit a cousin in a nursing home and play cards with her when I can.
On Mother’s Day, my new tradition is to go to the cemetery, although this is very difficult for me. Peach roses were Mom’s favorite flowers, so I put peach roses on her grave.
My mother taught me to do charity work Today I am proud to say that I am the chairperson of the Caring Community of Temple Torat Yisrael. We visit elders in our community who are homebound and/or in assisted living communities. We bring them companionship and special programs celebrating Jewish life-cycle events.
Joy is very important in life. No one should be lonely or alone. We all need some kind of companionship for our sanity.
If your mom is still alive, love her even if she has faults. You only have one mom. I wish I had my mom longer – she was my best friend.
While I took care of my mom, we became closer. She shared her feelings and fears with me. Mom went so far as to ask me to take care of my dad if anything happened to her. I took care of my dad proudly, although it was not always easy.
Some days I miss my mom so much that I break down. Other days I think of the fun things we did, like taking Mom to see Tony Bennett at the Warwick Musical Theatre or going for a long ride so she could get out of the house for a few hours.
Thanks to Mom, I have learned to take life on life’s terms.
I have learned to forgive people who wronged me. Life is short, and none of us know how many days we have to enjoy. I have learned to be positive after watching Mom struggle with her health.
I thank Mom for the lessons I have learned in life. I thank her for being a role model for me.
Today, if Mom were alive, she’d see that two of her grandchildren are now married, with children of their own. Mom would really enjoy her two young great-grandchildren.
Mom would be proud of her children and grandchildren. We all made our way, thanks to her and my dad.
Although we do not choose our mother, I feel blessed to have my mom as my mother. I will never forget her or her legacy.
MARCIA SLOBIN is a board member of Temple Torat Yisrael, in East Greenwich, and works at Pace, in Providence, as a life enrichment assistant.