Friendships are like passengers on a train

Someone recently told me that relationships are like passengers on a train. Some stay until the end of the line, some stay for most of the ride and some leave at the first stop. You get the idea.

This story is about a person with whom I have been on train rides for 67 years.

It all began when I was 6 and going to Sunday school for the first time at the JCC on Benefit Street. A woman appeared at our door and said she was taking me to Sunday school. Her name was Selma Schmuger. We took the bus to Charles Street and walked up the steep Star Street hill. I really liked this “old” lady. She was fun and genuinely kind. Years later I realized she was probably 16 years old.

Life moved on and both Selma and I took other trains.

Selma and her first husband, Bob Penzel, lived in New Bedford. When Bob died, Selma and her children moved to New York where she taught school.

Rhode Islander Bob Klitzner came into her life, they married and she and her children returned to Rhode Island.

Around this time, I was spending time with my cousin Justin and his wife Elaine. Justin was a childhood friend of Bob’s and worked for him. I now had an opportunity to connect with Selma as an adult and on a social level. Again, I found myself on the train with Selma. This was a brief ride for both of us. However, I always enjoyed seeing her. She was still fun and genuinely kind.

I took a job at the Jewish Federation of Rhode Island where Selma was a volunteer. She had recently lost Bob Klitzner. As an adult, I could really see Selma’s imagination … her head filled with so many programming and fundraising ideas that some days my head would spin.

It was shortly after I joined the JFRI staff that my oldest son Jeff met Arthur Richter. Around this time, Selma began dating a gentleman by the name of Milton Stanzler. Well, would you believe it. … Milton was Arthur’s uncle. For the next 16 years, Selma and I were family. We were together at holidays, birthdays, anniversaries and other family gatherings. This was a long train ride.

I left the Jewish Federation and found other work, Jeff and Arthur broke up and Milton passed on. For several years I did not see or hear from Selma.  Then one day I received a call from her asking me whether I would be interested in working at the Rhode Island Holocaust Museum. I was offered the job and have been working for the Sandra Bornstein Holocaust Education Center for 11 years. Selma has moved to Chicago. However, we are in touch often. I am sure that Selma and I will be riding this train together until the end of the line.

MAY-RONNY ZEIDMAN is executive director of the Sandra Bornstein Holocaust Education Center.