Camp: A growth experience for both children and parents

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Camp! What a lot of emotion is contained in that short, innocuous-sounding word.

 

I have been a camp director for 23 years, since my youngest child was 2. I often tell families that I was a mother long before I was a camp director, so I get it. Sending your child to camp is an emotionally charged experience for the entire family.  

It’s true that at camp, they will not get the same kind of attention that you give them at home. They will, however, get a chance to try new activities that they choose and to eat foods that you didn’t prepare and serve. They will also choose their own clothes … according to their ideas, instead of your carefully color-coordinated outfits. And while they may come home with no socks, shaggy hair and really dirty clothes, they will also have gained independence, learned problem-solving skills and made new friends.

At Jewish overnight camp, they will also gain an appreciation of Shabbat spent with friends, learn new prayers, and use Jewish values to guide their decision-making. And they will accomplish all these things while they are at camp and you are at home.

Often, the only people crying on opening day are parents. Sometime they really don’t believe me when I tell them that their kids will not only be OK, but will thrive. But, when I check in with them after the summer, their views have often changed.

The term “helicopter parent” has received quite a bit of press in the last few years. It describes overprotective parents who hover over their children. I am not a big fan of that term. It is hard to let go of a day-to-day relationship with your child, even if it is only temporary. It is also hard for children to let go of the day-to-day checks and balances that a parent provides for them. Why, then, do I encourage families to choose camp for their child? Because it is good for everyone.

In a good camp-family relationship, parents are partners, not adversaries. Camping professionals care about the well-being of every camper in their care. Each is seen as a unique individual who comes with unique needs and unique talents. Camp is the perfect place to uncover hidden abilities and develop important life skills. 

Children become more resilient when parents are not there to present a solution for every challenging moment. It is amazing what campers figure out for themselves. They gain problem-solving skills, learn to navigate social relationships, and even figure out what to eat.

They gain self-confidence. They learn to trust their instincts and use the good examples of older campers and counselors to guide them. They also make relationships with campers and counselors that will last well beyond the camp season. In short, camp provides an opportunity for children to grow and develop with a bit of privacy.

Meanwhile, at home, parents are learning to live their days without constantly talking to their children or looking out for them.

  Perhaps some of the greatest benefits of a camp experience are only apparent after campers return home. While they often bring home dirty laundry, rocks, broken projects, weird little bracelets and mementos, they also bring some new habits: they get along better with siblings (at least for a while), may sing or hum new tunes (perhaps repetitively), have new skills and interests to show off, and have lots of stories to tell.

Camp gives both parents and children an opportunity to practice independent living skills. Campers gain empathy, new skills and an appreciation for the parents who provided them the camp opportunity. Parents gain newfound appreciation for their children’s quirks, senses of humor, long stories and thoughtful actions. And they have more of those at the end of the summer!

RONNI SALTZMAN GUTTIN is director of Camp Avoda and education director of Temple Emanu-El, in Providence.